Understanding how non-Christians think and feel - a key to wise evangelism and outreach

How do non-Christians think? If it is some years since you became a Christian, maybe you have forgotten? Or if you made a commitment very early in life, maybe you never really knew. And if your only friends are believers, how can you ever find out? What are their felt needs and worries? We cannot reach those we do not understand.
Let’s look inside Jay’s head …

I really don’t understand this religious stuff.
I did try and read bits of the Bible when I was at school, but found it hard to understand. I never went to church or Sunday School or anything.
It really bugs me to see Christians claiming that they know it all.
I doubt they have much fun anyway, because they are living by a load of rules.
Well, some do. Mandy in the Accounts Department goes to church, but she can’t keep her hands off men. Ever.
Of course, I do try to live by my own rules too. Well, most of the time. I still feel bad about what happened with Sam though.
There is one church in town that give out leaflets in the street. They are so badly produced though – just lots of text and Bible verses. I never read them properly. There’s an invitation to their church services at the end – but I would never dare to go to a church by myself, even if I wanted to. I’d feel like a fish out of water.
Church services sometimes come on the TV too. I always switch channels, they seem so old-fashioned and preachy. One time though, I came across a Christian program that was looking at the Christian messages hidden in recent Hollywood film releases. Now, that WAS interesting, and it made sense to me. (I try to get to the movies every two or three weeks.) Another time, there was a story about Christians starting an AIDS hospice in our country. Those people really impressed me.
Not that I actually know any Christians at all. Otherwise I could perhaps find out more, and ask some real questions. If they’d try and give straight answers, and not just preach at me.
Well, if their beliefs work for them, that’s great. Of course, I do read my horoscope when I remember to. I always try to avoid things that it warns against. And Charlie gave me some healing crystals – I keep them by my bed, and they really seem to make me feel calmer sometimes. Buddhism sounds fun, actually. There are evening classes at the local college. Carlos and Miriam have been going. They say it is really good – there is no pressure to join anything, the classes are friendly and interactive, and already they feel that their lives are changing for the better.
Not that I need God, or religion or stuff. Though it would be nice to know where I am going. To feel more grounded. Have a purpose. And I wish I could cope with stress better than I do. Or even find someone I could talk to about the things that worry me. My job is not safe any more. I can’t face all that job-loss stuff again – it’s happened twice before. Specially with my loans to repay. And I’m just hoping that dad’s medical tests won’t show anything bad. Specially now he has left mum and is living alone.
And even deal with that thing which happened when I was a child – what that man did to me in the toilets. I never told anyone, not even my mother. It still makes me feel guilty. I manage to blank it out most of the time. I’m sure it contributed to my last relationship breakup. Life is a bit lonely just now.
Of course, I always try to escape from the week’s stress on Friday night. Me and a few mates. It seems to help, somehow. But there’s always Monday again.”

[If this page raises personal issues for you, visit Power to Change.]

Jay is the majority

Our imaginary friend Jay is typical of many people in the West and beyond. Even in the US context with an unusually high level of church-going, he or she still represents half the population – someone who is 'unchurched'. In Canada, Europe, Australia/NZ and the rest of the English-speaking world, where church-going is often 5% or less, 'Jays' represent the overwhelming majority of the population.

Some writers place a photo of a real or imaginary 'target reader' on their desks, so that they do not lose focus in their communication. We suggest that unless your target reader's profile is specifically different, Jay represents the 'everyperson' you should be aiming to communicate with.

Attempts to reach Jay, using assumptions, language or methods which might work for someone with a church background, are likely to fail.

Where would you place Jay on the Gray Matrix? What type of evangelism is most likely to reach Jay? More questions about Jay.

Related links

Angie's Story – writing testimonies that non-Christians will understand.
The Gray Matrix – understand spiritual journeys.
Losing contact – why we may have no non-Christian friends.
Felt needs – a way to open closed minds.
Relationships – Jesus’ method.
Culture – understanding the world around us.
Irritation – what web material irritates non-Christians.
Translating the Gospel – Mike Frost on the need for appropriate contextualization.

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What Non-Christians Believe and Think

Getting inside other people’s heads

Jay is the majority

Related links